The Pussification of the American Male

Years ago, my uncle said something that burned into my brain like a cattle brand: “It’s the pussification of the American male...”

Not as a joke. Not as locker room talk. As a dead-serious observation during a raw and honest conversation. And he was damn right.

We’re watching the systematic unraveling of traditional manhood. And I don’t mean some hokey Marlboro Man caricature. I’m talking about the kind of men who led families, kept promises, stood between evil and innocence, and could gut an elk or a lie without flinching.

That man is now an endangered species. Not extinct, but damn close.

The Decline Isn’t Accidental

This didn’t just happen. It’s been engineered, slowly, quietly, and with surgical precision. Masculinity has been rebranded as toxic. Conviction mistaken for aggression. Leadership reframed as a control freak. And somehow, passivity became virtue.

Boys are raised to sit down, shut up, and talk about their feelings instead of managing them, mastering them, and turning them into fuel. And let’s be clear, by no means should you ignore talking about feelings with your boys. You absolutely should. But to take those feelings, feel them fully, and then do something with them. Turn them into strength. Into grit. Into character.

Adversity? Optional. Struggle? Avoid it. Failure? Someone else’s fault.

We abandoned discipline and found dopamine.

Fatherhood: Once a Calling, Now a Casualty

Fatherhood is a privilege. Not everyone gets the opportunity. It’s sacred. It’s weighty. And like everything else in life, it eventually becomes hard.

That’s where too many men bail. They get overwhelmed, frustrated, or just bored. It infringes on their Monday night football.  And instead of doubling down and actually parenting their kids, they turn to shortcuts. Take them to a doctor. Get them medicated. Chill them out with a pill instead of training them up with time, truth, and toughness.

Then they stand around dumbfounded when their kids turn violent on some random Tuesday morning because the hairdresser didn’t get their hair the exact shade of purple they wanted.

Where are the fathers who used to set the tone of the household, not with volume, but with virtue? Where are the men who taught by example, invested in their children, and corrected in love but with a firm hand?

Too many men have abdicated their post. They’re physically present but spiritually absent. They outsource both education and discipline to schools, outsource faith to their wives (if anyone at all), and outsource character-building to the same society that’s trying to neuter their sons.

We are raising boys in homes with no masculine standard. No resilience. No sacred weight to the role of being a man. And when these boys grow up? They become soft, indecisive, pleasure-chasing liabilities to themselves and their families.

Marriage: Not a Contract, a Covenant

Do you want to know why your grandparents were married for 50+ years?  Because neither of them were f*cking quitters or pussies. They understood that marriage wasn’t about feelings. It was about covenant. About standing before God, your wife, and your community, and saying, "I’m in this no matter what."

That kind of commitment isn’t romantic. It’s rugged. It’s forged in fire, not whispered in a honeymoon suite.

Covenant means staying when it’s inconvenient. Serving when you’re tired. Listening when you want to yell. Giving grace when she’s flailing and mercy when you’re failing.

It means staying through the dry seasons. The years that feel more like roommates than lovers. The nights when nothing gets resolved and the mornings when you still show up anyway.

You don’t bolt when it breaks. You rebuild. You don’t flinch when it hurts. You get stronger. Because you made a vow. And real men don’t walk away from their word.

Marriage was never meant to be a mirror for your happiness. It is a fire that burns away selfishness, ego, and pride if you let it. A lot of men don’t. They ghost their responsibilities the second it gets hard. They hide behind phones, porn, work, and fragile egos. They want the perks of manhood without the price. They want a crown but fear the cross.

Manhood without sacrifice isn’t manhood.

Men of God: Where the Hell Are You?

When men stop pursuing God, everything collapses. Faith used to be the bedrock of masculine identity. It shaped conscience, courage, and conviction. Men didn’t just believe. They led. They built their households on something eternal.

Now? We outsource spirituality to Sunday school teachers and worship bands. We make excuses. We look for vibes instead of truth. We binge on garbage, keep secrets from our families, and wonder why our lives feel hollow.

The problem isn’t that men feel too much. It’s that they no longer know what to do with those feelings. We are watching a spiritual breakdown that’s been building for decades. A war. The absence of true spiritual leadership in the home leaves a void that no pill, no therapist, no trendy mantra can fill.

Jordan Peterson often talks about the crushing weight of responsibility men are built to carry—and the spiritual decay that happens when they don’t. We are not meant to be spectators. We are designed to lead, to protect, to sacrifice, to serve.

That’s what spiritual leadership looks like. That’s what your sons need to see. That’s what your wife is silently begging for. That’s what this country is starving for.

The Work Never Ends

Manhood is not a one-time badge you earn. It is a daily battle, a discipline, a decision to keep showing up even when the world tells you to sit back down.

There’s no graduation. No retirement. No summit where you get to plant a flag and say, "I’ve arrived."

If you're a man, you are under constant construction. You are called to sharpen your mind, humble your ego, crucify your selfishness, and build something eternal. You are called to lead your home, even when your legs shake. You are called to love your wife when she’s hard to love, and guide your kids even when they don’t want to be led.

The term "Hold Fast" shows up throughout Scripture and on the knuckles of old sailors who braved storms they had no business surviving. It means cling to what’s true. Grit your teeth. Do not let go. For our house, it’s more than a motto. It’s a command. When the seas rise and the wind screams, you don’t drift. You don’t fold.

You Hold Fast.

-Charlie